The Heat is most definitely not on

It's decided: I'm going to wean myself off 'Heat' magazine. It's all become too much. I'm drowning in a sea of stupidity and vacuous celebrity "news". I think the final straw came last week when Nikki and Pete from BB7 were on the cover proclaiming, "Yes, we've had sex!"... I had to force myself to buy it and was embarrassed holding it on the tube. Heat's influence has been all pervasive: you can't open a magazine or newspaper without seeing 'spotted' and 'circle of shame' rip-offs in place of serious news or original articles/writing and it seems that as a nation we can't get enough. This has to stop, I thought. And so next Tuesday I'm going to ignore all news agents and read a good book on the way to work, or *intake of breath* try and decide what to do with my life (i.e. not waste it reading about depressingly shallow people leading pointless existences).

I'm not pretending it will be easy. 'Heat' is ridiculously addictive, and unfortunately like most things its a progressive drug. There is a desire, that is encouraged and nurtured by the magazine, for every more puerile, degrading and just downright, humiliating features. "Celebs" and wannabes are prepared to reveal everything, do anything and appear anywhere just to get our attention. Take 'Princess' Nikki, mentioned above. I am sickened how this young woman, who admittedly has had some problems in her life (best worked out in front of the camera obviously), has shown us just how far acting like a spoilt arrogant and emotionally stunted 2 year old can get you. Yes, she's been manipulated and yes, it was funny for about five minutes, watching her throw her meaningless tantrums, but the fact that she now has her own show, several magazine deals and will no doubt write her life story soon (Love of her life Pete is rumoured to already have a deal for a million smackers) makes me furious. What is the point of doing things right, trying to be a decent person, holding down a job and paying your taxes, if someone like her can make more money in a few months of 'fame' you are ever likely to see? It devalues us - the hard-working majority - and what is worse is that we are happy to fork out for it, through licence fees, voting calls, buying the mags etc etc. No wonder kids don't seem to want to be anything but celebrities nowadays (maybe in the future we will see a GCSE in Celebrity Studies or vocational placements at X Factor castings) It certainly looks like a sweet life.

Now I just have to cut the cord and cancel my (free) subscriptions to Holy Moly and Popbitch - then I'll be a little less tangled in the web of celebrity worship.... We'll see!