Social fly butter

Hi,

Well darn it if I'm not missing Katty... I never used to have this problem when I was single. I liked being alone; doing exactly what I wanted, when I wanted to. Now its a different episode of the L word entirely.

I say that but if I was anything like my minor crush and major hero from that show: Alice, the former bisexual (don't ask) this kind of lifestyle would be nothing new to me... by that I mean I'm kind of lonely right now. And in being lonely, like Alice, I've turned my life into a social whirlwind!! Yes, it's true! (well almost). The person who would once have done anything to avoid meeting new people, having spontaneous social happenings or really being anything other than quiet and shy seems to have vanished. It's kind of been in progress for a while (known in our house as Helen XP edition. I don't trust Vista yet) but this latest thing took me by surprise a bit.

I'm not complaining. It's just... weird. Our diary has started to really fill up recently and its great. Like on monday night I found myself asking someone from my creative writing course (we are still meeting up in a casual writing group thingy) if they wanted to go for a drink (for those who know I'm not really drinking anymore be assured I hardly had anything!) after the meeting. I never would have done that before. Yes, I guess part of it is I have realised I hate coming home to an empty flat (Allie is great but she doesn't ask me about my day) but I'm not going to lay it all on Katty being away. I guess I'm just feeling more confident and chilled, and although I don't feel much happier with me per se I do seem to be able to let go a bit more and relax. I'm actually saying what I think more and I think people are respecting me for it.

Anyway. I was really glad I asked Becky for a drink. I wasn't sure she would want to and my typical thing of 'I'm assuming she would like to be friends' or 'I'm bugging her' threatened to kick in. But as I thought we had kind of clicked in conversations we'd had before, I decided to go for it! And as it happened we have quite a lot in common. I'm hoping we can meet up again, with our respective gfs (who are also quite similar!). It was lovely to be in the Glass Bar too - I'd forgotten how much I like that place - and it was great to chat - turns out we both almost chickened out of the course! I don't have many gay female friends and I've realised its something I want: K and I to have friends who are gay too. The creative writing course has been great for me on a lot of levels and it would be even nicer to make some friends out of it as well!

I couldn't wait to tell Katty about my evening and I hope, budget permitting, we both make more of an effort to see our friends and possibly make a few more. It's all about time really, I suppose. The more friends you have the harder it is to have closer friends. I know the people who are really important in my life because I make time for them and its hard to sustain that commitment for more than a certain amount of people I guess... I'm just waffling now. I'm not talking myself out of making new friends I just recognise that Kat and I already have some fantastic ones that I love spending time with...

Currently listening to: Six feet Under soundtrack volume 2: everything is everything. Phoenix.

There must be a plug-in for blogger so I can add the above! if not there should be. I guess Regina is right, live journal has some cool features. My heart is with blogger though! ;)

Night (at least Allie cuddles up to me while Kat is away!)

Helen x